I have many comforting memories from my young years. When my brother and I were kids, we used to chase our little dog around our backyard. After we got a bit older, our parents would take us to the beach for swim lessons. Afterwards, we would then stop by the kiosk for ice cream on the way home. Later on as teens, we would spend time with the other neighborhood teenagers, riding our bicycles in the street until it got dark. More time goes by, we grow up, and then move away. Even though you love your parents and will never stop, it is easy for families to grow apart. During the Christmas season, we are reminded more than ever about how important it is for us to appreciate our family and not take them for granted.

Appreciation

Showing appreciation of family members is so important, but sadly it is not always an easy thing to accomplish. For instance, my Dad and I have never really had an openly loving relationship. We’re tough guys and sharing your feelings isn’t the norm. Don’t get me wrong, we know we love each other but it is unspoken. He endured the same relationship with his father and never let him know that he loved him until it was too late. Because of this, I made certain to take on the responsibility of making sure things didn’t end up the same way between my dad and me. Now we share the occasional awkward: ‘I love you Dad, I love you son’ moment. Still not perfect, but it is a work in progress. My partner’s family is the polar opposite. You literally can’t turn up for dinner without a cuddle on the way in and a cuddle on the way out. It does make me a bit jealous sometimes, but it does give me something to shoot for.

Set Your Life Priorities

Look at life this way. If you died tomorrow, your coworkers would mourn you for a short time but it is a guarantee you would be replaced and the office would go on without you. On the other hand, the family you leave behind will live with the loss for the rest of their lives. They will hold your memory dear, and think of you often. Now think of how much time you spend at work compared to the time you spend with the important people in your life. The level of importance should be very clear regarding time spent with loved ones, especially during the holidays. Every year my aunty and my mother organise a huge event that my whole family attends. My father’s siblings consist of eight sisters and brothers. Each of them have at a minimum two kids of their own, grown now and some of them also have children! It is loud and busy and chaotic…but I wouldn’t have it any other way. It is the best way I can think of to spend the holiday season.

Make Time

Always make every effort possible to spend time with your family. If you’ve become distant, be the one to take the first step and initiate contact. Maybe invite your family over for a nice dinner together. You should try doing this regularly. If you live a measurable distance from your family, then pick up the phone and give them a call. I bet they would love to hear from you. Spend time reminiscing, and make sure your family knows how much you value your memories of your life together. Send them a letter or even an email if you are time poor. I am always getting spam emails from my mother, the kind of humorous junk emails that are so annoying and bothersome if they were to come from anyone else. I think that deep down there is a hidden agenda; she doesn’t want to be forgotten. Her joke emails are intended to remind me she is there, and after she sends them we start an email conversation and both feel better because of it.

There really is no such thing as the perfect family, as every family has its fair share of trials and tribulations. But your family is the only one you have, and they are the ones who will always be there for you when you need them. Try not to fight, the time we have together is precious. Never leave it until too late to show your appreciation and let your loved ones know you are thinking of them.

We have all been in a rut, locked in a pattern of circumstances that we can’t seem to get out of. Sometimes, those circumstances change by themselves, but more often we need to take action to ensure that we don’t become stuck in a rut. We aim to help you get out of a rut knowing they can affect any facet of life.